My Pancake Theory

#7 My Pancake Theory

A few years ago I experienced an epiphany; I call it the Pancake Theory. If you’ve ever made pancakes, you know that once the batter has gotten to the point where it is bubbling, you can flip it over and continue to cook until it is ready to put on a plate to enjoy with butter & syrup.

It is up to us how we choose to consider them. If you look at a pancake closely, you’ll see that one side of it is smooth and golden and actually rather pretty; the other side not so much. We tend to serve pancakes with the pretty side showing just as we present ourselves to others with the pretty side of us showing. When shopping we are shown the pretty side of the things for sale, the benefits, the perks, the admiration we can expect from our associates, etc. Seldom will a sales person point out the responsibilities, the commitment, the overall cost of ownership, what we often call the downside or the bottom of the pancake.

The interesting thing to me is that so many things, people and events are like pancakes: they have a pretty top and a not-so-pretty underside, BUT you can’t have one without the other! Every left has a right. Every east has a west. Every bad has a good. I suppose if one has a large enough bank balance, one could purchase an item and pay another to care for the downside so that only the good and pretty parts can be enjoyed but there’s a potential downside even to that!

It is my belief that it is up to us to choose whether we will accept the two sides as they are while placing our energy and emphasis on the top, pretty, good, or whatever positive parts we perceive.

For example, in our new craziness, my personal pancake (life) now includes many more people. I love seeing the excitement in their eyes when I offer to cook something I know they’ll enjoy such as the beef and noodles with mashed potatoes I’ll be making for dinner tomorrow. I’m tickled when one of the girls comes to me for a hug or to share something on their heart. I see their smiles when they make an effort to say Please or Thank You knowing I appreciate it. I like very much how they come looking for me when they arrive home from school in the afternoons. The bottom side of the pancake is that I have less quiet time for reading and knitting than I did before and there are so many interruptions!

We now have our multi-talented Tim here to repair and replace things that have been needing attention but we also have his bride who often behaves like a teenager herself. Don’t get me wrong, I love Elisa. We just think differently about many things and I have to work hard at adjusting to the drama, impulsive decisions and volume when I’m around her. It is my strong wish that we can find a middle ground where we are both comfortable. I’m very aware that I’m not used to her level of chatter. I did take a couple of days for myself where I stayed mostly in my room where it was quiet and I could recharge my batteries. I’d been using up my reserves pretty fast and had to give myself a time out to avoid a meltdown.

The craziness continues! Valerie walked to the park with Peter (the cute boy next door) on Saturday afternoon. When it began to rain, they started back. Val slipped on an oily puddle and fell hitting the back of her head pretty hard. That knocked the sense right out of her and when Peter guided her into the house, she had no idea what had happened, what day it was or where she had been. That definitely got our attention! Her eyes were dilated and she was disoriented. However, with Tim’s Army training as a medic, we settled her on the couch with an ice bag where she could be quiet and watched her for anything that would indicate a trip to the hospital might be necessary. She’s had a lingering headache and a stiff neck and back but seems to be recovering with the help of some Tylenol.

I fixed myself a glass of chocolate milk on Sunday evening. When Heidi saw what I had she coyly asked if she could have some too. She seemed to think that simpering and batting her eyes at me would convince me to say yes. I know Heidi abhors anything that resembles work and so to test how badly she wanted a glass of chocolate milk, I said I’d be glad to make one for her if she’d clean my bathroom sink for me. Without hesitation she declined the trade and went on her way to other things. A little while later, I announced to everyone that I’d finally gotten Heidi to do some work for me and she was working really hard. All eyes were on me immediately. Then I explained that I’d hired her as a virtual waitress in my Facebook game called Café World. We all enjoyed a laugh, including Heidi who readily admits her aversion to work in any form. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who could stretch clumsily folding a basket of her own clean laundry to more than an hour like she often does. She’s just not motivated about anything but being cute and having fun. But then, like the proverbial pancake, that’s the downside of Heidi. The other side of her is good-natured, funny, loving and very loyal to her sisters. I get the impression she’s not afraid of anything (except maybe calloused hands).

One top side of our crazy new arrangement is having lovely young women all around us. The bottom is the amount of water being used for the extra showers and laundry. The girls have never lived anywhere that water was not free and plentiful. Our city charges for water usage by the gallon while the apartments they moved from did not and so as a result, we’re working on a strategy to encourage the girls to reduce the amount of time they spend in the shower each day. I’ve lost track of the number of times our large hot water heater has been emptied since their arrival. These girls do love their long hot showers! Tomorrow Lisa and I are going to conduct a class on how to shave one’s legs using just a single gallon of water. Now that could prove to be hilarious! I’m realizing more every day how fortunate I am for having all male children; they are so much easier to bring up!

I like pancakes. I especially like them when the smooth golden pretty side is on top. But then, doesn’t everyone?