Soap Opera?

#3 As the World Turns or Days of Our Lives?

Two years ago I ran an ad on Craig's List for a handyman to help with repairing damage done to our house by renters who lived here. (There are pictures of the damages posted on my Facebook profile.) Out of seven applicants I interviewed, Tim is the one I chose to do the work. He was here nearly every day for six months and we got to know each other pretty well. I became very fond of him; I wanted to adopt him and have him become a permanent part of my family. He's in the same age range as all the other sons in my life and would fit right in! I think I told you he's in the Army Reserves and had recently returned from his third tour in Iraq. He's strong, smart, energetic and very talented with tools. He was definitely an answer to my prayers where this old house was concerned. Little did I know back then that he'd actually come live with us! One really should be very careful regarding what one prays for. I firmly believe prayers are eventually answered but not usually in the manner we anticipate. Tim is living here now but brought five other people, a dog and a lizard with him! Maybe this is related to the scripture about 'shaken down and overflowing'?

If I remember right, the soaps I watched years ago had a way of introducing a new character into the story line by just having them show up as a long lost friend or family member, a doctor making a house call, an investigator following up on a crime or some such ploy. Those cast members usually came into the story one at a time. Our 'soap opera' is more like a season premier of a new sitcom! We have a whole cast of characters suddenly and I'm still trying to regain my balance. Maybe being out of balance is why this feels so much like a circus act at times.

Today for example, I got to know Chelsea a little better. Tim took Lisa to stay with her mother Sandy for the day since little Summer has been over there most all the time since Lisa fell. Ray planned to attend an evening function at the church we've been attending so rather then going to the local knitting shop as I normally would do on a Thursday from 4:30 to 8pm, I stayed home to greet Chelsea, Heidi and Valerie as they returned from school. I was surprised when all three of them came home on the same school bus and I was suddenly surrounded by teenage girl energy and chatter. One minute I was quietly enjoying Chapter 25 of the Witching Hour by Anne Rice and the next minute I'm hearing about a girl at the high school who wants to beat up Chelsea for looking at her. The horror stories Anne Rice has written don't unsettle me but hearing about this bully immediately got my attention. The Mama Bear inside me started to awaken.

Did you know that high school junior girls raid the refrigerator after school the same way boys do? I had no idea. They thunder up and down the stairs with the same volume of noise too as they toss their backpacks into their bedrooms and head for the kitchen. "Oh, good! There's string cheese! Can I make some lemonade? What are we having for dinner? Does anybody else want this piece of pie?"

"Didn't you eat lunch at school?" I asked.

"No, they didn't have anything I wanted," they chorused.

"Could you maybe grab something like fruit you could snack on later? You do qualify for free lunches and having you eat there would certainly help our grocery budget reach farther here."

"Okay, I'll see."

"I'm fixing baked talapia, sliced tomatoes and Mary Post's yams & potatoes for dinner. Valerie can choose a vegetable," I announced. "How much fish will you eat? I want to know how much to fix."

"I want a big portion. I like fish." replied Chelsea.

When I asked Heidi, she indicated a normal size serving would be fine. Valerie simply replied, "I'm just hungry!"

So according to the packages I cooked enough to feed seven and the four of us dainty women ate it all and still had room for ice cream. I wonder who determines portion sizes? They certainly didn't check with us.

Household Rules for teenage girls:

• No guests in the house unless an adult family member is home.
• Before visiting the home of a friend, you must provide that friend's home phone number and street address as well as their first and last name.
• You cannot go inside unless one of their parents are home.
• Young women are not to leave the yard after dark without an escort and a dog does not count as an escort. Our yard does not include the front porch of the house next door where a cute boy lives.
• Girls will be inside the house on school nights by 9:30pm unless with a parent.

Valerie's circle of new friends is growing rapidly. Her after-school errand today was to go to the pet store down the street and get crickets for the lizard. She asked to borrow my bicycle. "Will you wear the helmet?" I asked. She nodded and smiled. Next thing I see, she's peddling next to Peter on his bicycle and they are heading the wrong way down our street. Less than a minute later, they are going the right way but there's another with them. Upon their return with the insects, I am introduced to their classmate Jake who has been in this house before when the renters lived here. He is surprised by the changes we've made. "This is looking really nice!" he exclaimed as the three head downstairs to play video games. Before he left, I got his info and explained the rule about Valerie not being allowed inside his house unless his parent(s) were there. He replied, "We have the same rule at my house," so I feel better about her hanging out with him. Mama Bear showing herself here again.

During dinner Chelsea asked me if I had old-fashioned curlers and would I help her roll her hair tonight. For some reason she wants big curls tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I put rollers in a girl's hair but it must be like riding a bicycle. Once the rat-tail comb was in my hand, the rhythm came right back. I had the glass of water, the bobby-pins and the rollers all right there while she sat in a kitchen chair tipping her head this way and that all the while chatting with me. I learned about her current male friends and one special guy she'd like to see who doesn't live in Oregon. I learned she has a kind heart and is very conscious of her thoughts and opinions. She wants very much to 'do the right thing' whenever she has a choice to make but she also wants to have fun. Ah, the angst of being 16-17 years old.

While working on her hair, I was reminded of the day I went into labor while pregnant with Tony. His Grandma Furne insisted I pin curl her hair before going to the hospital. So between contractions, I managed to shampoo my mother-in-law and get the job done, then settled her under the hair dryer. She was most upset when I said we were off to the hospital because my pains were just ten minutes apart. "Wait!" she said. "My hair isn't dry!" Tony was born about twenty minutes after I entered the labor room. None of his grandparents made it to the hospital before he emerged. I highly recommend working this hair care activity into any birthing day routine as I believe it shortened my labor!

Just before I put in the last rollers for Chelsea, Tim brought Lisa home. He had helped Ray move some boxes of books in the garage earlier today and his back is sore. Tim is convinced that if the Lord Himself had to carry multiple 50 pound boxes of Bibles, he would have grunted and said bad words too. Instead of saying "Oh my God!" though did he say "Oh My Self"? Tim is puzzled why anyone would need as many books as Ray has accumulated. I admitted I am concerned about those 80+ boxes of books still in the garage. Will they ever be read or just carted from house to house growing in quantity with each move? Is there a twelve step program for book-aholics? Am I an enabler? Is there a program for me?

Tim has now carted Lisa down to the Man Cave where they are watching a movie in the dark. Having newlyweds cuddling on the couch is so sweet. Ray returned from the meeting at church and has gone to his office to read email and internet news. Heidi and Valerie are in their respective rooms and all is quiet. Chelsea is preparing herself to try sleeping on those rollers in her hair. I'm going to get up in the morning in time to see her off. I sure hope she likes the outcome! I'll snap a picture to share with you if she'll let me.

All I hear right now is the ticking of the grandfather clock and Gypsy's sighs as she dreams in the recliner nearby. Okay, I'm going to sign off here, finish this chapter of Dark Shadows and then off to bed. No, wait, wrong title. That was a soap opera in the 60's. I'm reading about Lasher and Rowen, not Barnabas Collins and Angelique! Who else remembers those old soaps?